Raising Twins

It's like a tag war in our house everyday. Even at a younger age, my twins always compete who will be first in almost everything they do. They fight from dawn 'til bedtime. . . . who takes a bath first in the morning as they prepare for school, who gets to finish eating first, who's the first to finigh brushing their teeth, shine their shoes, do their assignments, who's the next person to say grace for the meal and God knows what else. And aside from being cats and dogs, they are both teasers. They tease one another up to the point of ignition. The one that ignites leaves his brother on the floor. And here comes mom yelling . . . . again.
One tag-war day, I caught myself in a situation where I was yelling and nobody of the twins seems to have heard me. And there are instances where I tried to talk things out to them in a democratic way but they just look at me point blank.
I reached a point where I got tired of all the quarelling and all my yelling so little by little I designed my own disciplinary action. . . . actually its a compilation of all the how-to-raise-kids books that i have read and things i learned from experience.
The very first thing i did is accept my children for who they are. Instill in my head that they are just kids, they have weaknesses just like everybody and they are prone to mistakes because they are still discovering things.
Next, I tried so hard not to nag and yell (still doing my best up to now) because kids hate that. My mom always tell me that if I do not have something nice to say its much much better to keep your mouth shut. I do that and it works. There are instances we got carried out by how drain and tired we are and blow it to our kids although we are aware it's not healthy for them but God knows you just can't help it sometimes. The fact still remains, , , , nagging and yelling is not healthy for the kids and it should be the priority no matter how awful our day went.
I kept a calendar at the back of my head. It is listed there who took a bath yesterday so the other twin goes first today. And the same goes with the brushing etc. Now the twins themselves take note of the reverse strategy. That's one headache pulled out of my head.
The one thing we argue the most is the issue on who-does-what-and-when. The other twin would always reason out that i did this and that when you told me to now let him do this and that for you. So I told them that not everything is done fair and square and to let me be the judge of who will do the next favor i ask. I encouraged them to be happy that they are able to do something for mom and not count the favors they have done. Peter Karl until now sometimes mumble when being ask a favor but still i'm happy because he mumbles and still do what i ask. Gemkarl on the other hand is always willing and happy to be of service to mom and dad.
Finally, I've learned to love them unconditionally. I do not require them to be first in class or to win in a school competition. Patiently, I encourage them to be who they want to be and reach what they want in life, to embrace difficult lessons because it's the way to learn, to love and be responsible in their studies, to fight back when bullied but never initiate a fight with anybody, to show respect esp towards their teachers and female schoolmates, to pray and stuffs like that.
Truly, to be a parent is the most difficult but the most fulfilling job of all.